Andrew Magrath (biggrumpy) wrote,
Andrew Magrath

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A Bandsaw? COME ON!

I forgot to mention in my last post, I really don't know how this slipped my mind -- perhaps it was too traumatic -- but I got to ride a bike to Sanga elementary school again. Guess what? I have not improved since the last time I rode a bike. In fact, I am willing to wager my skills have decreased. I hit two walls, I feel I nearly fell off a bridge at one point, and scraped the daylights out of my hand (I don't even know if I can say that). It didn't help that it really seemed that I had entered a Paper Boy™ inspired universe.

As I was riding there were little kids with balls around. There were people walking there dogs, and they were little dogs. Like big dogs have the sense to get out of the way, but little dogs just think they are big dogs. So they look at me wabbling down the street and they are like "HI! HI! HI! HOW'S IT GOING? HOW'S IT GOING? HUH? HUH? HUH?" Big dogs would just look at me and be like, "Sup?" And be thinking, "That guy totally can't ride a bike." While little dogs are thinking that if they throw themselves into the wheel that will somehow help.

I swear to you that on one of those teeny tiny foot paths Japan is known for there was a guy with a bandsaw. I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried. So he is working with his bandsaw cutting wood for god knows what taking up over half the path. Not stopping to cut even though I am riding towards him. I know I can't yell out "STOP CUTTING YOU FOOL" because it is taking all of my mental faculties to not spontaneously fall over. I have to get by him. So, I got him to my left about two feet of space and then one of those other delightful things Japan is known for the bottomless gutter. The drop was at least two feet deep. Essentially it came down to this choice for me: missing limbs or broken limbs? I wobbled on by him and in the post "I didn't die! I didn't kill that guy! I'm a bike master!" moment I wobbled off the road into the mud, but at least all of my and that guy's limbs were whole. I swear to you a bandsaw... A bandsaw!

In honor of that moment I also unveil my latest icon: "Freak Out!"

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