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An Open Challenge

About "For All Your Rational Thought Needs"

Previous Entry An Open Challenge Aug. 9th, 2006 @ 08:01 am Next Entry
I offer this open challenge to anyone, anywhere, anytime: I can drink anyone under the table, so long as the beverage being consumed is orange juice. As long as we are drinking straight OJ, I can destroy anyone. I made this challenge and my friend David, in his hubris, accepted it. He talked a tough game, but when the glass touched his lips he went down for the count. Last night was my first drinking contest. I came out strong and downed a glass of pulp free. He did the same, so it was on! We started chugging juice. I beat him every round. David drank 3.5 glasses and tapped out. I drank 5 glasses. The last glass was a mistake.

We drew a crowd of Mike’s sister’s friends. Mike’s sister, Becky challenged me. So I polished off another glass. She beat me in speed, but I wasn’t bringing the heat. I had a belly full of 4 other glasses. The contest was not officially sanctioned, it was an invitational or at best a house show. I am still the champ.

I actually felt really sick after my fifth glass in under two minutes. I went into the bathroom swished some water in my mouth and then buried the hurt so I could continue to taunt David. Just like a real athlete would, only I used my will power to put the hurt away. While a real athlete would have used cocaine. It turns out David’s kryptonite is orange juice. His usual wit was reduced to a dull whimper.

The Rock says, I am the best orange juice drinker there is, the best there was, and the best there ever will be, and that’s the bottom line because to be the man, you have to beat the man, have a nice day!

David demands a rematch next year.
Mood Data: thirsty100% Feeling "The Thirst"
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Date:August 9th, 2006 03:34 am (UTC)
okay, i think we're going to have to get some web-cams and judges...en guarde!!
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Date:August 9th, 2006 11:19 am (UTC)
I'll see your challenge if we do tea. I'm allergic to orange juice and i'm under the table on half a glass on this country that doesn't belive in pasturizing its juice. so what do you say to tea? or cranberry juice (but that contest might cost a month's salary) oh i could cream you at fruity syrup we could do shots! so yeah, bring it!
Date:August 10th, 2006 01:40 am (UTC)
First of all....

FINALLY! The Rock... HAS COME BACK... to LiveJournal!

Now then, Big Grumpy! You want to issue a second open challenge to The Rock? You want to taunt The Rock, when you know damn well that nobody--and The Rock means NO...BODY!--knows Big Grumpy better than The Rock?

Big Grumpy, The Rock says that Monday night was nothing but a fluke victory! You see, The Rock JOBBED to you, BG. Yeah, yeah that's right! The Rock didn't want to make you look bad in front of the handfuls--and handfuls--of Big Grumpy's fans. The Rock could have chugged--CHUGGED!--that fourth glass of orange juice-e-juice, but The Rock found it better to err on the side of caution. The Rock saw what happened to BG after his 5th glass of the orange stuff, and The Rock thought it best to stay sober, to think straight, to plan his victory for the next time the Open Challenge reared its pulpy head.

So as for next year, Big Grumpy, let The Rock say this: it's on. In the meantime, you keep in mind that The Rock will lie, cheat and steal his way to a victory if that's what it takes. Oh it's true, it's DAMN true! DLC2k 3:16 says I just jobbed to Big Grumpy in an OJ competition, but make no mistake, it will never... EEEEEEEEEEVER... happen, AGAAAAIN! So you say your prayers and eat your vitamins, Big Grumpy, because history beckons The Great One! So whatcha gonna do, brother?! Whatcha gonna do when The Rock runs wild... on... YOU!

IF YOU SMELLLLLLL-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L... what The Rock... is... COOKIN'!
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Date:August 10th, 2006 11:30 pm (UTC)
David, why are you logged on as anonymous? You do have an account. What a sell out.
Date:August 11th, 2006 12:49 am (UTC)
Yeah, I kinda forgot I haven't logged in and saved my password on this new computer.

But speaking of selling out, MAN! Where's your rebuttal to my awesome promo?!
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Date:August 11th, 2006 06:50 am (UTC)
I let the record speak for itself. I do not need to rebutt anything, because the fact that you could hardly stand after mere 3.5 glasses is enough.
Date:August 11th, 2006 11:50 am (UTC)
But it was a really good promo.... :(
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Date:August 12th, 2006 06:47 am (UTC)
Not as that JUICE! The thrist, THE THRIST!
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