Today was our annual health exam. So I left school early to go get checked out. It was the same as last year: sight, hearing, urine, e.k.g., chest x-ray, blood, height, weight, heartbeat. As I was walking to the bathroom the nice lady that would eventually be checking my urine smiled at me and bowed. I had a real problem with that. I know Japan is a really super polite country, but no one should ever smile and bow at someone that is going to be giving that individual a cup of still warm urine in a few moments. That’s just weird. I draw the line there, and I draw it deep in the sand.
Next it was eye sight testing. Japan’s eye examine is a lot different the US’s. Instead of reading characters you look into a machine and it displays a “C” (more or less). It shows the C in various locations and with various sizes. You then move a joystick in the direction of the opening. So if the C was pointed up (looking a bit like a U) you would push the joystick up. If you can’t tell, you hit the “I have no clue” button. It is confidently marked with a “?” -- meaning in Ravenna Ohio the machine would be considered highly suspicious.
After blood pressure it was time for the worst part of it for me, the blood work. Last year, as you may recall, they stuck me 5 times (two inner elbow, two wrists, one through the knuckle). This year they could not find a vein to tap (again). So they asked were they got it last year. I indicated my knuckle and she went there again. She had to pump it out with a syringe again, and it hurt like the dickens again.
Next it was my e.k.g. (why?) and then after some stupid stuff it was chest X-ray time. I don’t know why the Japanese love their chest X-rays, but they do. I am thinking that I need to get out of it next year. Flying home once/twice a year exposes me to enough micro-farads. I like my genetic material the way it is. This year they had to zap me twice because the machine was made for people that are not human size. Needless to say, the scrawny little Japanese guy behind me had NO trouble with the machine.
Afterwards I went home. I had no classes, and my hand hurt so I slinked on home. At lunch time I kept a proud tradition alive and went to McDonald’s for a chocolate shake. A red badge of courage demands a courageous beverage.
As an added bonus:
The Microsoft Word text only archive of this blog just reached 200 single spaced pages.