Andrew Magrath (biggrumpy) wrote,
Andrew Magrath

Cool Biz?

Ohh look, it’s 5 am, 85 degrees, and the sun is a foot from my apartment: it must be summer. Summer has come to the Archipelago. There is light outside my window by 4:00 am, by 5 the sun is fully up, and by 5:30 am it is 85 degrees outside. I know this because I haven’t been sleeping so well. When I have consequently woken up to see the sliver of light coming through my barrier and then looking at the clock, I frequently think, “I must be dreaming. It CAN’T be like this this early.” But it is. Japan summers are miserable. Spring lasted for like 5 months of joy, but this, this is the beginning of the end. Japan also doesn’t use daylight savings time, so that helps contribute to the sun being up by 5 am. This all leads me to “Cool Biz.”

In order to conserve energy Japan has instituted the "Cool Biz" program. Air conditioners are to be set at 28 Celsius (82 F). Hmmm does anyone else see the contradiction in 82 degrees F being part of COOL Biz? Cool Biz is lame. But Tanigawa is cooler than Cool Biz (literally), so we defy Koizumi! Fightin the man! We set OUR air conditioners at 23 C (73 F) now that is not exactly a cool paradise, but it isn’t the preposterous 82 F of torment.

82 degrees is like a cruel joke Beasulbub plays on you in Hell. You are sitting there roasting away and he walks in and says, "Man it is hot in here, let me crank up the AC." For a second you have hope, but then you glance at the thermostat to find Old Scratch has only set the temperature down to 82 degrees. Your hope is dashed. That Old Diluter Satan walks from the room cheerily discussing the new "Cool Damnation" plan. 82 degrees isn’t an option, it’s a punishment.

Tremble and despair mortals, summer has come to your lands.

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