Andrew Magrath (biggrumpy) wrote,
Andrew Magrath


Today I had my annual physical that everyone has to take that works for the BOE. It has some standard and not so standard things. I had my height, weight, eye site, hearing, blood pressure, and drug (urine) tests, but I also had a chest X-ray (for TB) and an EKG (huh?). I also had to have blood drawn. I have notorious deep, small, collapsing veins and today it really showed. They tried to straight stick me in both elbows to no avail. So they moved on to my wrists. This time they got a syringe pump out and tried to suck it out of me. I have two wrists, so guess how many times that failed? I was rapidly running out of space on my arms. Then they found a spot on my right index finger base knuckle. Hurrah, with some mad sucking action out came wonderful crimson! I have never been so pleased to see my own blood before. I then looked down and saw the needle was sticking about an inch into my vein, and I was not so pleased to see my blood anymore.

I have a theory that my super power (everyone has a super power though it may not be very useful) is to bleed through the nose (like I said, everyone has a super power but it may not be very useful). I do the nose bleed thing really well. Look at any of my sheets, clothes, floor, possessions, etc. carefully enough and you will see blood stains. I am that good at bleeding through the nose. But I now believe that my nose bleeding ability actually makes me LESS likely to bleed in other areas. “That is my blessing, that is my curse.” So today I learned something new about my powers. I also learned that having a needle stuck in your knuckle may sound painless (“It’s my knuckle, I don’t feel it now, how can it hurt?”) but it, in fact, hurts like a maniac.

After being stuck 5 times and having a sore hand, what else can one do but buy a milkshake? Though the macha (green tea) milkshakes at MOS Burger are delicious, you need something a bit more rugged after seeing your own blood. Yes, a man needs a straight up chocolate milkshake. No gimmicks, no cream on top, just cold refreshing pain numbing chocolate ice cream and milk shaken together to form a magically smooth blend that delivers Zen in a glass. It’s like drinking a hug. So I bought that milk shake and went home for the day. I just hope the staff at Tanigawa do not think I disappeared because I had TB and had to be quarantined.

John Kerry may have gotten three purple hearts, but I earned 5 Red Badges of Courage today. And if the right wing under handed dirty sons of… - I mean “Swift Boat Veterans for Truth” are to be believed - and why not? – I also suffered a lot more than John Kerry did to EARN my Red Badges of Courage.

Now for a cup of really good green tea in my "Cheer Up!" mug. I love that dog.

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