Andrew Magrath (biggrumpy) wrote,
Andrew Magrath

Behold my brainy braininess in my tale of brainocity

Wow I just returned my broken TV. That means I had to get it home from my apartment to the recycle store. It was an epic story of brainy braininess, that I partially ruined by using some force rather than my synapse charged ion pumping neuron crackling mind bending mental energy.

The TV was broken, I knew it all too well. I checked all the connections with a multi-meter and re-soddered the connections but to no avail. I sat and pondered. My mind churning possibilities like a churn churns churnable things. I realized I had only one logical choice: the TV must go back. I walked to the recycle store, the path carefully sketched out in my mind’s eye to minimize time of transit. As I ascended the escalators, my mind buzzed with how I would communicate to the store owner. I entered the store, showed her my reciete, and said “The TV is broken.” We spoke briefly, for my lighting fast mind quickly surmised we were having different conversations. With a clearity and grace that would baffle the most imbaffleable I realized the solution. I quickly called Dan and made him talk to the woman. The phone is thrusted back to me, Dan quickly explains the situation. “You can get your money back or trade it in.” My mind spins back up to full speed. Probabilities dance through my cerebrum, I glance at the TVs in stock, with the new data I make the call, “I want my money back.” Dan, via phone, relays the pertinent information. But a new challenge now looms. Dan informs me I must get the TV back to the recycle store alone. At long last a challenge worthy of my physics degree. I have to move an object from point A to B, it is very heavy and very cumbersome. I think but for a moment, then like I just had the beatific vision I am temporary blinded, my own utter infallible genius steps forward. I leave the store and enter the hardware store not 4 meters away (5 meters if I could have taken the hypotenuse.) I wonder the store, my eyes searching, and I find it. A cart to move the TV. I quickly purchase the cart and take it home. I eat lunch with Dan, for I have thought about a great number of things and must replenish my energy for further more thinking. We finish and I am back to my room. My neurons positively spark as I decide how best to move the TV. My mind comes up with a solution and I place the TV on the cart. I use a massive amount of force to lift the TV and place it on the cart, yelling out a manly roar of power - oops this is my “brainy braininess tale of brainocity,” not my “manly manliness tale of manlyocity.” The TV on the cart, having gotten there through an, umm, ingenious pulley/ramp/lever/gear system thing of creative stuff and smartness… The TV on the cart, I began to push (at a 45 degree angle to maximize forward force because it is based on the sine of applied force) and the cart moves. I plot a path minimizing path length and force required. The results were bowel shatteringly effective. I got the TV back to the recycle shop, got my $200 back, and didn’t even have to wipe sweet from my brow. I prepared to venture to Yodabashi Camera the Mecca of thinking man’s geekdom.

It was a good day to ponder, it was a good day to return a TV.

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