Andrew Magrath (biggrumpy) wrote,
Andrew Magrath

A first Thesis on Gentlemen and Scholars

I realize that some of my entries are a bit in-joke-ey, but this one is a big in joke so some of it may not make complete sense. All the same I promised I would post on the topic so here my loyal readers, and only friends, is your first tantalizing glimpse of the life and times of noted gentleman and scholar Baraka Laurence Pennyworth III, or, as he is known to those who have read all of his works and hang on his every word, Baraka. I must first provide a glimpse of how I myself came to find Baraka’s work. While David and I were playing Mortal Kombat Deception one night, I was playing as Baraka and decided to look more into his background, what I found would change my very moral standing on this earth. It turns out Baraka is an accomplished concert pianist, noted scholar, social critic, philosopher, and gentlemen’s gentleman. I have sense learned all I could about Baraka Laurence Pennyworth III and his current romance Lei Fang. Here is the fist installment of my findings.

Baraka Laurence Pennyworth III comes from a long rich history of philosophers and social critics. He can trace his ancestry back to the famous Greek philosopher and orator Barakakitus. Barakakitus early work on the role of Republic and the so called “fuller” sense of morality. There were many other minor philosophical contributions to social thought, morality, and literature by the Baraka family until Barakmus broke onto the scene in the Late High Middle Ages. Barakmus’ rejection of the standard Middle Age university structure shook Europe to its core. Barakmus rejection of translation and commentary on the original works of his predecessors lead him to learn 8 languages to read texts in their original format. Barakmus stands as a pillar of European philosophy and was knighted in the early Renaissance. A social critic and advocate of learning until his death Barakmus remained one of the most critical of voices. But it was this very trait that cost Barakmus everything. Eventually Sir Barakmus fell out of favor with many due to his sharp criticism of the emerging trends of social-economic thought. He was exiled from most of Europe. Wondering the wastes of the Sahara alone and penniless, Barakmus died, but he never lost his own sense of honor. Barakmus has proven to be one of Baraka’s main influences. Due to the hatred that Barakmus inspired the Baraka line falls mostly out of the historical spot light. Though there are rumors that William Shakespeare is a psydonim for one of Barakmus’ ancestors. There is some credence to this rumor due to the fact that “Shakespeare” is similar to the ancient proto-Germanic name of Barakamus, and “William” finds its roots in the Anglo-Saxton word for “descendant of.” Though this is still a hotly debated topic within certain circles.

Needless to say, the name of Baraka resurfaced in our modern times in the form of Baraka Laurence Pennyworth III. My favorite philosopher. His long spine like appendages from his arms may be mistaken for horrible blades, but are, in fact, quill like pens, and can also be used as a cane of sorts (for formal events) Baraka has spent much of his time on esoteric moral philosophy. Baraka’s first notable advance, at the mere age of thirteen, was an adaptation of Aristotle’s megaloyucia concepts. This of course led to his near pathological obsession with the mind-body duality with an emphasis on the inherent contradictions. As a side project, Baraka took up hermeneutics surrounding moral philosophy. At age 15, Baraka shattered the concepts of heuristic thought in his landmark thesis “On algorithms and formal proof.” It is sad that after reading it, George Polya carefully set up a chess board and knocked his own king over.

I feel now is a good breaking point due to the complicated nature of the philosophy presented in this particular thesis.

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