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Essay: Who Mourns for Theta? - A Recovering Physicist's Apology

About Essay: Who Mourns for Theta?

Previous Entry Essay: Who Mourns for Theta? May. 9th, 2006 @ 06:38 pm Next Entry
Who mourns for you θ? Who remembers you before you were associated with a pseudoscience? Before you got hijacked by a quasi-religion? Who remembers who you use to be θ? And who misses you now that you are gone?

I remember when you were the perfect symbol to represent an unknown angle. We both know you were the best. Yes φ is good, but, let’s be honest, it’s the second string. There really isn’t even a variable after it worth mentioning. Yes, you θ, you were always the star. But in this tragic comedy we call life, you are now tangled up with scientology. Oh cruel cruel fate: how you toy with us mortals and our symbolic representations.

Scientology stole you, gagged you, drugged you, and beat you. Now a θ isn’t an angle to be flushed out; a devious piece of symmetry to be discovered; a worthy foe to meet wits with and shake hands with when the game is done. No, now θ is a form of quackery: the source of life, the soul, the essence. Theta, ohh θ, why have they brought you low? Why did they pick on you? What did θ ever do to them? What did θ ever do to any of us?

Is it θ’s fault geometry is hard? Is it θ’s fault that calculus hurts? Who could hate θ so much as to do this to it? Sweet θ is as innocent as x or y or φ. Yet the bullies came, and they decided to change you. For what mathematical sins were you crucify for dear dear θ? Why couldn’t L. Ron Hubbard have picked Θ? Why did he pick the lowercase letter, the one I loved, the one that really stood for something (other than an esoteric pentaquark)? Of all the symbols in all the world, why did he cull you θ?

But now you are gone. There will be some that remember you for who you were. The real you, the θ before they took you. The θ before they ruined you. The θ that was x’s equal, if not mathematically, at least symbolically. That is the θ we should remember. That is how θ would want us to remember it.

Who mourns for θ?
I do.
I do.
I do.
Mood Data: morose100% In Mourning [a.v.]
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From:dlcraddock
Date:May 9th, 2006 02:47 pm (UTC)
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Who mourns for Theta?
I don't.
I don't.
I don't.

Sorry. :(
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From:sneakypeteiii
Date:May 9th, 2006 04:34 pm (UTC)
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Amen, brother.
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From:obie_in_exile
Date:May 11th, 2006 01:38 am (UTC)
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maybe theta decided to sacrifice himself. maybe he plans to draw those lost scientologists back to the real science. they begin by worshiping his image and when they show promise and want to know more, theta reveals his true form, his original calling, as a scientific puzzle. His followers gain knowlege and interest and learn to think for themselves and are thus saved from that bumbbling religion. Theta is a true hero of the true science. he is working to save those who we, foolish educated people, had given up on. thank you theta for your sacrifice. We will remember you and honor you in your true form. Let us not abhore those that have not the strenth to search for your true form. Let us encourage them to search for themselves. and maybe one day everyone will see theta for what he truely is. a marter for science.
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From:biggrumpy
Date:May 13th, 2006 06:49 am (UTC)
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I just hope it isn't like when Superman got killed by Doomsday. In the climactic end theta and scientology both hit each other so hard it kills them both. Good luck theta, good luck!
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