So my old college buddy, Sanden Totten, asked me to write a few jokes about Barack Obama for his NPR show. Sanden was upset because Obama seems really untouchable and his supporters utterly humorless (particularly after the New Yorker cover hullabaloo). I found this to be a worthy task as, seriously, the Obama campaign is really really annoying in this respect. Plus with Obama opting out of campaign financing, flip-flopping on the flag pin*, desire to EXPAND faith based innitiatives, desire for off-shore drilling, failure to vote on McCasey, agreeing with Justice Crazy Antonin Scalia on gun control AND the application of the death penalty, taking money from lobbyists and saying he doesn't**, and of course the unforgivable promising to support a fillabuster of the telecom immunity but instead voting FOR it. He doesn't seem to believe in the seporation of church and state clause and the 4th Amendment.
So it was pretty easy to write some jokes. The jokes and description of the contest start around the 18 minute mark, though you should listen to the whole thing because it's NPR and thus awesome. Check it out here.
Alas, the jokes that did not make the cut were:
What's the practical difference between McCain and Obama's voting record on the Iraq war?
So Jesse Jackson recently stated that he wanted to cut Obama's nuts off. Unfortunately after Obama's FISA vote, Jesse'd have to find them first.
* I feel the lapel pin thing needs some explaining. I was deeply moved by Obama's explination of why he did not wear an American flag pin during the primaries. To paraphrase, patriotism is not a trinket, slogan, or catch phrase, it's not a yellow ribbon on your car or a flag on your chest -- it is what you carry in your heart, and he (Obama) loves America in his heart. I found this explination to be deeply satisfying particularly due to the vapidness of the Clinton and Edwards campaigns (though for an even better explination see Kucinich's speech "A Prayer for America"). Yet now Obama wears the flag pin! I hate that! It validates the flag pin = patriotism argument. By "giving in" and now wearing the flag pin Obama has essentually said, they were right and I was wrong, and he wasn't. This is a trend we have seen from Obama more and more and it is a serious betrayal of the people that voted for him in the primaries.
** I feel like this one needs a little explaining too. Obama does not "officially" take money from lobbyists, but he does take vast sums of money from lobbyists' secretaries. Now certainly some of these people are honestly giving to the Obama campaign, but they also do not make the kind of salary that would allow them to give in the amounts that they do. There's a rat here, let's face it Obama takes money from the lobbyiests. And even if you do not want to believe that, Obama's campaign frequently blasts McCain for doing what I just described above. Just look at what they have to say about McCain and Big Oil (McCain has taken approximately $2 million from Big Oil lobbyists or non-lobbyists that happen to work for lobbyist firms, where Obama using this slight of hand BS has taken about 1/8th of that). The point is Obama takes money from lobbyists through a Bush-esque bait and switch. And for this he opted out of public financing... fantastic.